All Set Up and Ready To Go...

So I'm officially in Boston. Half of all of my belongings are still in my car, but they are out of my CT house and that is what matters. :)

Oh, The Knotty Girl is also going to be in tip top shape with all the crappy walking I have to do.

Tomorrow is the first day of work so stay tuned for an update!!!

The Knotty Girl Quits Her Job...

Normally I don’t write about my job. I find that nothing good can come from me making jokes about the people I work for or with.

However, I have to announce that today is my last day at my current job. 09-16-5 is my official resignation date. I leave with happiness and excitement for what is in store for me in my new position and town. I also leave with sadness because I truly love my coworkers here.

I’m worried that my sense of humor will not be accepted at my new job. I mean, how forunate am I that I managed to find two jobs since I graduated college that both tolerate my EXTREMELY FUNNY stories and allow me to complain about my roommates on a regular basis? I consider myself extrememly fortunate that I sometimes wear the same pants for days in a row and no one comments. They never say anything when I stroll in at 9:30 because I didn't hear my 18 alarms go off. I love them!

I worry that I won’t make any friends in Boston. My friends here and in Florida love me for me. They accept all my weird personality quirks and my need for frequent naps. They listen to me when I start to complain about the same injustice in the world for the 15th time…that day and they do so willingly. I don’t even have to beat them up to get them to listen.

I also worry that I will get lost a lot. I have a great sense of direction, but I’m usually in my car with that direction. I hate walking 4 blocks in one way only to realize I should have gone the other way. OR I should be on a totally different block entirely. Blah. On the upside, you don’t get fatter by walking. Skinny butt here I come!

So as my last work day comes to end, the Knotty Girl starts her last weekend in CT. The next time I write I will officially be a Boston resident.

Have a Knotty day and even Knottier Night!

McDonalds sells mozzarella sticks!

Seriously?! Does everyone have the same fancy schmancy McDonalds menu that we have?

Now I realize many of you are healthy, crunchy, never eat a drop of fast food kind of people but I have to have at least one reader that enjoys a dinner of a milkshake and french fries every now and then...right?!

So I show up at McDonalds yesterday ready to get my uniform dinner on Tuesday nights of a large (not Biggie, because god forbid you acidentally use the wrong word at the different, but same fast food restaraunts) Coke and a small french fry.

This meal has the four main food groups. Its got the sugar, caffeine, carbs, and salt. Perfect, right?! No? Ok. Well I didn't get my Cindy Crawford figure based on whole grains, veggies, and GOOD fats. Blah.

So I pull around the corner to place my order in the little black box that requires me to yell AT LEAST four times my order and I notice a little sign next to the intercom. What is this? Mozzarella sticks! Could it be? Could my favorite food item of all time now be available quickly and cheaply. SCORE!

Those suckers are $1 for four and I love them.

I am not ashamed.

Just a little Knotty Humor...

There are times when I feel like I am a bit smarter than most people I come in contact with. Ok, lets be honest, I feel that way most of the time. :)

However, there are also times when I feel like I could not possible be functioning as a human being. The following is one of those moments...

************************

So Best friend’s roommate is a moron. Lets just get that out there. Nice girl, but dumber than dumb.

Best friend is chatting to her about how she thinks she might need a change in her profession. Right now she works with juvenile’s and its getting to be more than she can handle. She thinks she might want to work with adults now. She looks at her roommate and says, “But not the elderly. For some reason I have a hard time working with the elderly.”

Her roommate says (wait for it!)….

"That is so racist." She has all the disgust in her voice that you would imagine if someone said something so out of control that you wanted to throw up.


HAAAA! That is hilarious!

Best friend just got up and called me. No comment to the moron roommate needed really.

I am cracking up during this story. For some reason I just can’t stop.

A few days later I am retelling the story to a friend and when I finish he says, “What is the name for when you don’t like old people?”

I think for a moment and then say, “Is it gender bias?”

The minute it came out of my mouth I just hung my head in shame. Seriously?! I’m an idiot!!!

For the record…ageism.

Have a Knotty Day and enjoy a good laugh at your friend’s expense.

Little kids say the funniest things...

The Knotty Girl is kid free except for the occasional times I feel like Korky is my child, so when I do hang out with the kiddies I always get a kick out of them.

Here are a couple of cute stories that have made me laugh over the past few days...

1. Korky is often watched by a good friend of mine when I leave town. Her children (4 and 6 years old) adore Korky! They also have a large mix dog, Chance, that is the sweetest thing but out weights Kork by at least a 100 lbs. A few weekends ago I went to pick Korky up from his mini vacation and as we were leaving through the front door the 4 year old yells out through the screen door at the front of the house, "Bye Chance's Bitch!"

I almost fell over from laughing! Apparently the girl's father often calls Korky Chance's bitch because Chance is in love with Kork and tries to hump him on a regular basis. :) Gotta watch what you say around the youngins!


2. A friend of mine at work told me this story about her child...

Her little boy has been in school for about two weeks. In those TWO weeks he has been sent to the principal's office three times! Apparently everytime his 1st grade teacher comes to talk to him at his desk he gets up and runs to the other side of the room. He then refuses to return to his desk until his teacher walks away.

So the the 3rd time happens and my friend goes up to the school. She pulls her son aside where no one could here them talking and asks him what the hell is wrong with him! He looks up at her and says, "My teacher smells."

She looks at him puzzled and says, "What do you mean smells?"

Little boy looks around and leans in to whisper..."Her no-no spot smells really gross Mom."

My friend almost passed out! Of course! Teachers are right at nose level with kids when they are standing next to them so of course it makes sense.

I told her that instead of trying to approach the teacher herself she should just let her son explain it to the teacher himself. You know, blame it on kids still developing social skills and such.


3. Same friend as story #1 has a child that started school last year. She came home after the first few weeks of school and told her mom that the next door neighbor kid was in Mrs. Black's class.

My friend takes her child to school a few days later and drops the neighbor kid off too. When neighbor kids teacher walks out she says to her, "Hello Mrs. Black". "Mrs. Black" says, "My name is Mrs. Smith". OH! Then it dawns on my friend. Her daughter overheard her neighbor friend say her teacher was black and assumed that was her name. When she sat her down later to talk about it and explained that neighbor kid's teacher was black and not named Mrs. Black, her child looked at her and said..."I need to work on my colors. I thought Mrs. Smith was more of a brown color. huh."


So those are just a few of the cute stories I hear. They satisfy any type of longing I have for children. :) Feel free to share your stories too!

Phrases I Miss...

Any sentence that ended in NOT.

Cool beans.

Like, that was so awesome! (ok, so I *might* still say this, but I sound dumb so I'm not claiming it as a current phrase in my vocabulary on a regular basis)



Ahh...those were the days. :)

The Knotty Girl Remembers New Orleans...

The KnottyGirl has some fabulous news…she is moving to Boston!

This is an amazing opportunity for me and is sure to provide many more stories for the Knotty Spot. Or at least I hope it does. Keep those fingers crossed and a few toes wouldn’t hurt either that the pup and I find an apartment or we will be living in the oh so cool Santa Fe on the streets for a bit when we get there.

Now on to a sadder occasion…Huricane Katrina. What a sad sad situation! New Orleans isn’t far from where I grew up so we were visitors there at least once a year. To lighten this situation, I’ve decided to divulge a few Mardi Gras stories from my *Note: No pictures will be shared due to my need to protect the innocent. That and I was going through an ugly hair stage.*

Picture it…1999. My mom and dad decided that it was about time that I experienced New Orleans. We had been there at least twice a year every year for the better part of my life, but never to Mardi Gras. The big day came and my parents, along with my cutie patutie boyfriend back then, packed ourselves onto this local tour bus thing that was Mardi Gras bound.

Apparently on the brochure they failed to mention that the average age of those on the small tour bus to Mardi Gras was around 75 and the drink of choice was a vodka tonic, minus the tonic around 8am. Seriously?! Who drinks vodka at 8am? Not I. I stick to shots of Baileys or Kahlhua. Gotta get that milk in there somewhere I say.

Anyway, the drive to NO from my town is about 4 hours. Not really a bad drive at all. Driving with about 40 75 year olds made the ride go from 4 hours to about 6 in order to fit in the multiple bathroom/smoking breaks that were needed. I was unaware that your bladder gets smaller as you get older, but I am almost positive that all the vodka that was consumed had something to do with it.

When we arrived at our destination, my parents let cutie patutie boyfriend and I go off on our own and we decided on a time and place to meet. Let the craziness begin, right?! Umm…no.

Cutie patutie boyfriend figured out quickly that he is claustrophic and is allergic to ugly women flashing their stuff to him. I, on the other hand, had a direct reaction to pee that did not belong to me being on my leg.

By the end of the day, we had tons of beads but were so ready to go home. I was under age at the time so I of course I did not partake in any alcoholic beverages that day. Blah. When we returned home, my parents stated that while they had a great time, Mardi Gras just wasn’t for them. Cutie Patutie boyfriend said that he believed that he had been permanently blinding by all the ugly women there and was never going to return.

Fast forward to 2001, I convinced my best friend to go to Mardi Gras with me. I had now two years of Mardi Grasing under my belt and was ready to bring another person into my cult of Mardi Gras lovers.

Best friend had never even been to New Orleans so I knew this would be interesting. We decided to drive ourselves there too…ha!

When we arrived we parked our car on St. Charles street and got to drinking immediately. One of my favorite features of New Orleans is the ability to get any type of frozen delight I can possibly imagine at any time of the day.

As we were sitting on some dirty sidewalk drinking our Pina Coladas at 9am Best Friend sees a street sign down the street. Well alrighty then. I decide to open the world of Canal Street to Best friend.

We get to Canal Street and it looks a bit crowded. Actually, it was boob to butt full of people.
I grabbed best friend’s hand and started pushing through. People were grabbing body parts I didn’t even know I had! Then it happened…

Do you know those big carts with all those dumb toys you can buy hanging on it that you see at parades and such? Normally there is some type of big blow up bat and maybe even some spinning light up laser sword thing that no child should have because its just god awful annoying.

Well, I looked to my right to see who was trying to molest me and I saw one of these dreaded carts. Then it started to appear closer and then closer. Next thing I knew it had fallen over and knocked me down! I was covered in bats, swords, beads, and most importantly…whatever I was laying in on the ground.

When I finally stood up I was covered in what can only be described as slime. Best Friend had also fallen off sidewalk and stepped in a large puddle of this slime. It was a mixture of beer, frozen pina coladas (not mine though…I NEVER spill alcohol), pee, spit, and whatever other random trash floated over to that area.

It smelled horrible and I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

The rest of the night was a blur but I do know that when we finally made it back to my car, I was covered in beads and still had a best friend.

New Orleans is a city that holds a lot of memories for me. From family outings to crazy times with my friends. At this time in history I can honestly sad that I feel not only sadness for the people that are in this area, but also for the loss of such a historic city that was filled with character and spunk.

New Orleans will always be a part of me.

PS. If you feel helpless and want some way to feel involved then DONATE!

No , not to the Knotty Girl cause but the Red Cross. Red Cross