Big Hair Woes...

This weather is killing me...and MY HAIR!

The humidity it out of control in my area. I do my best to shower every day. It is a struggle for me to get out of bed and do this, but I know if I don't that the hair on my legs will start to grow and grab little children. My hair will become greasy and not require any product for it to have that greased back ponytail look that is popular. So instead, I do my good deed. How am I rewarded for my good deed? BIG HAIR!

I blow dry that crap like there is no tomorrow and put on all those $30 humidity protective "products" that swear they will keep out all the moisture. By the time I'm done I am wearing a helmet of product. I look similar to Peggy Bundy on humid days, minus the leopard print top and leggings,of course. Although, now that I think about it, spandex leggings on my Canada-sized butt might take some attention away from my man made helmet.

Once my product application is done I venture out into the great wide open. Upon opening the door I am greeted with what could only be described as "icky" weather. Ugh...

I can literally feel my hair start to melt around my face. My neck begins to be covered by my $30 product and I start to feel a little slippery. By the time I make it down the steps and walk the few strides to my car, my back and face could serve as a slip-and-slide for small children.

I am now faced with not only sticky hair, but my hair expands. When I try to open my car door I immediately become nervous that I won't fit through my car door. *Warning: Another Willy Wonka reference ahead* I know that I will not get my hair through the door of my car and it will turn into an Augustus Gloop situation when he gets stuck in the chocolate tube. I decide to turn sideways as a just-in-case to get into the car. You can never be to careful really. I start my car and just blast the A/C.

Now, normally A/C would be a blessing, but with the $30 product mixed with my sweat running down my face the A/C blasting on my face immediately makes a mask. I am frozen solid! I know that I am going to die from inhaling all the fumes from my hair crap (forget "product", its just crap). My roommate is going to find me laid out in my car with the A/C pumping and my face frozen solid. I imagine that it will not be a pretty picture. Especially since my hair has grown leaps and bounds.

What is the solution to my hair dilemma? Not showering. Forget doing good deeds. I will just smile at strangers to make up for it. I have a lovely smile and I refuse to give up brushing my teeth. This is one of the *many* reasons I wouldn't make it on Survivor. I'm going hairy legged and greasy haired to work. They can either live with it or build me a bubble to live in during the summer.

Hmm...do you think I could hook up with bubble boy from that movie then? He was hot.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

its off to work I went today. Ugh...

There is nothing worse than heading back to work after a nice, not long enough vacation. The minute I walked in the door my coworkers had questions for me. Hello? I have about 300 emails and 20 voicemails to attend to. This is even after I put the vacation message up to let people know I was out of the office. Oh well...at least I am needed, loved, or forgot to do something.

So here is my plan. What do you think?

I believe I am going to look into becoming independently wealthy. I could easily out Paris Hilton herself by partying, clubbing, and attending fashion shows that are disguised as charity events.

I think people might even mistake us for one another, no?

I am even willing to lug my little 20 lb Korky around in a cute little bag that by the end of the day will have cut a permanent mark into my sholder.
Actually, he is a little heavy so maybe I can make this the next COOL bag that Kate Spade will want to make and charge people $300 for?


I am even willing to hang out with the likes of all the bobble head crew like Lindsay Hohan and Nicole Richie (both of who I am actually a big fan of).

Maybe I will just find an easy job that makes me rich quick. Is this possible by being a Neilsen TV Viewer? Hmmm...

Maybe I should become a trophy wife for some rich man. Heck, even for some rich woman!

No? Shucks.

Well its back to work then.

Happy Graduation to Sexy Ang!

My famous roommate graduated a couple of weeks ago and this weekend was her super cool graduation party. I say super with a bit of sarcasm because I had to drive my butt all the way to MA for it. However, we had a good time and I am so excited to announce that she knows what she is doing in the next couple of months besides clean off restaurant tables for a living...

She is going to South Africa to teach English! I'm so psyched for her and I have the feeling she is going to have a great time!!! I'm going to miss her though. :(

A few pics from the glorious party...


SEXY ANG!

HA!

"I'd rather be a happy magic marker, than a skinny pencil."
--Natalie from The Facts Of Life tv show.



I cracked up when I heard this today on VH1 Top 100 Kid Stars.

This is my new motto. At least until I am a skinny pencil.

Then it will be,

"Screw the marker. Skinny pencil it is!"

:)

Still on vacation...will write more soon!

PS. If one person mentions that I look like Natalie, I will have to track you down and then proceed to kick some butt. Please don't make me do this. I don't really care for sweating. Thank you in advance.

Easy Post for a Taking It Easy Vacation...

I stole this from someon'e blog and for the life of me I can't remember...If this looks familiar to you, let me know! :)

LAYER ONE: On The Outside
- Name: Erin
- Nicknames: girliegirl, Fred, LB, Erianne, E-Lo
- Birthdate: February 13
- Birthplace: Florida
- Current Location: Connecticut
- Eye Color: Hazel
- Hair Color: Blond
- Height: 5'3"
- Righty or Lefty: righty
- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
- Religion: Catholic
- Sex: Female


LAYER TWO: In The Inside
- Your heritage: Irish/Scottish
- The shoes you wore today: Cordoroy flipflops
- Who you look like: My mom
- Your weakness: I can be messy and extremely lazy
- Your fears: Failure
- Your perfect pizza: Olives and feta cheese
- Goal you'd like to achieve: Ultimate happiness

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
- Your thoughts first waking up: Dude, I slept until 2pm!
- Your best physical feature: My smile and hair
- Your bedtime: Around 1 usually
- Your most missed memory: Hanging out with my family back in Florida

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
- Pepsi or Coke: Coke Zero
- McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
- Single or group dates: Single
- Adidas or Nike: Nike
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee (Iced please)

LAYER FIVE: Do You? -
-Smoke: Nope
- Curse: Yes
- Sing: Like a grammy winner!
- Have had a crush(es): Oh yea.
-Think you've been in love: I know I have been in love
- Want to get married: Maybe one day, but not right now
- Believe in yourself: Most of the time. Its tough sometimes though.
- Motion sickness: Only on rides like the teacups. How did I ever ride those as a kid?
- Think you're attractive: Yes, there are always things I want to improve on though
- Think you're a health freak: At times.
- Get along with your parents: They are my bestfriends
- Like thunderstorms: They are the best!
- Play an instrument: Clarinet and oboe

LAYER SIX: Have you ever...
- Gone to the mall?: YES!
- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No
- Eaten sushi: Yes!
- Been on stage: Yep
- Gone skating: I was a pro back in the day
- Gone skinny dipping: Kind of.
- Stolen anything: Not knowingly
- Been caught "doing something": Nope.
- Been called a tease: Nope.
- Gotten beaten up: Nope. I'm short, but mean. :)
- Shoplifted: No

LAYER SEVEN: Getting Older
- Age you hope to be married: No age requirement, just when I find the right man
- Numbers and Names of Children: No children, just Kork the Dork
- Describe your dream wedding: Somewhere with my family.
- How do you want to die: Most people say while they are sleeping, but I don't want anyone to find me so maybe at a hospital?
- What do you want to be when you grow up: A cartoon voice
- What country would you most like to visit: Australia

LAYER NINE: In a partner
- Best eye color?: I love brown eyes, but as long as they have them I'm not picky.
- Best hair color?: No preference. I like them all!
- Short or long hair: Again, I like the all. I like to be fair. :)
- Height: The taller the better.
- Best article of clothing: A nice shirt and tie or shorts and flipflops

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
- Number of drugs taken illegally: None
- Number of CDs that you own: I can't even begin to count!
- Number of piercings: 5
- Number of tattoos: None (See previous post)
- Number of times your name has appeared in the newspaper: Several. A few for dancing, graduation, honor societys, "on the move", sorority stuff, and charity events

And Now for the rest of the story...

If you haven't guessed already, let me tell ya that the photos below are from Lucky Cheng's, a dragqueen restaurant in NYC. Its one of my favorite places to take visitors and I decided take my dad there for his Father's Day visit. He thought it was a riot and had one of those laughs where no sound came out for most of the dinner.

All of the "women" in the photos are actually men.(Did you place the right bet?!) I found out the hard way that one of them was a man when he was stretching on the stage and his "friend" popped out of his cute little bathing suit.

My dad is a good sport though and really embraced all the different people there. Thank goodness or there would have been some awkward moments.

To add to all the nakedness on that day, I got my photo taken with Naked Cowboy in Times Square. My dad could only shake his head and wonder how a man could make money just by standing around in his underwear and cowboy boots. I told him that I could make money doing the same thing and he just gave me the eyebrow look. I quickly told him that I meant I could make the money by people paying me to put my clothes BACK ON! That seemed to calm his nerves a bit, but he quickly said he needed a drink.

More to come on the vacation soon...until then enjoy Naked Cowboy



PS. Soon to come is the Breaking and Entering story! I haven't forgotten. :)

Place Your Bets...

Ok, I'm still on vacation so not much time to post as of yet, but I wanted to leave you with a few photos from the restaurant my Pops and I visited the other day. :)

Discuss among yourselves. HA!

Dad with Ruby, the waitress.


Miz Understood, the MC for the night!


Little Chinese Bitch (that is her name at the restaurant!) and the 1st grade teacher!


Ahh...good clean fun.

Today is the day!...

The Knotty Girl's Pops is coming to town! :)

Big plans for the big visit...

Casino, Wicked on Broadway, Lucky Cheng's drag queen restaurant, and of course, lots of going out and about.

See you in a few days!

12 Things...

Yet another entry i'm stealing from other blogs....
12 movies
1. Money Pit
2. Harry Potter
3. Nightmare Before Christmas
4. SharkTale
5. Old School
6. The Goonies
7. The Italian Job
8. Shrek 2
9. Sleeping Beauty
10. The Village
11. 13 Ghosts
12. Return to the Blue Lagoon

11 Bands/Singers
1. No Doubt/Gwen Stefani
2. Jack Johnson
3. Michael Buble
4. Stacey Kent
5. Justin Timberlake
6. Christina Aguilera
7. Blondie
8. Sean Paul
9. Missy Elliot
10. Faith Hill/Tim McGraw
11. Coldplay

10 things about me
1. 25 years old
2. Only child.
3. A crappy knitter
4. FSU graduate
5. In grad school to get my MBA
6. Florida native
7. I *heart* my cell phone
8. I'm addicted to Vera Bradley purses.
9. Love my job.
10. I'm a netflix member.

9 Good friends
1. Shawdawg
2. Ceb
3. Michelly
4. Sexy Stacey
5. Ang
6. P-Lo
7. Ms. Cruz
8. Matts
9. My parents!

8 favorite foods
1. Refried beans!
2. Peanut butter
3. Feta cheese
4. All ice creams
5. Spaghetti
6. Mushrooms
7. Grits
8. Cauliflower

7 things I wear daily
1. Undies
2. Deodarant
3. Sunscreen
4. flipflops
5. Sunglasses
6. Lipgloss
7. Rings
8. A black rubberband around my wrist

6 things I hate
1. Cleaning
2. Washing dishes
3. Racist comments
4. Being broke
5. Gas prices
6. Dog poop

5 things I do daily
1. Walk Korky
2. Talk to my parents
3. Take a nap
4. Shower
5. Check my email

4 shows I watch
1. House
2. Monk
3. Law & Order
4. All HBO shows

3 places I've lived
1. Florida
2. London
3. Connecticut

2 things I want
1. A smaller butt
2. A mute button for stupid people

1 person I wish I could see right now
1. My mom

Its getting hot in hur...

Its hot as crap up in my apartment. My roommate dropped the air conditioner out of the window last night and I am having a hard time keeping my self from throwing her out on the lawn with it.

Good god. I moved from Florida to get away from this heat and instead I was greeted by people who don't know the meaning of CENTRAL A/C. Find it people! You will all be happier and in turn, so will I.

Sorry for the pissy post, but heat is not my friend.

OH! and in other news...my imaginary boyfriend that I like to stare at during work is no longer working there. Ugh. There went my only boy prospect!

10 Things I Wish I Knew In High School...

The wonderful Neeka27 has posted a Meme Challenge that I finally decided I could get in on.

10 Things I Wish I Knew In High School

1. It's absolutely not A MUST for me to own that hideous herringbone necklace and white Reebok hightops. Actually, now that I look back on some of those photos I had to wonder what ever made me think that hightops looked good on my treetrunk legs. Ugh...


2. The grunge phase was not a good look. Enough said really.

3. MZ, my senior year boyfriend, was a loser. Always has been and always will be.

4. I should have run for a student government position. I was too lazy and to afraid of running against someone. Instead I was on different advisory boards for those that ran.

5. I should have done more in journalism. I loved that class but didn't put forth nearly enough effort. Plus, I made a lot of jokes about my teacher. Not really that nice, but more fun than it really should have been.

6. I should have reported my spanish teacher for harassing me about my long term boyfriend. She was a nut and didn't teach me crap about spanish. Except how not to cheat by writing all the answers on the inside of a the water bottle label. Hmpf.

7. I should have not wasted that summer hanging out with M&M. They were mean girls who treated me like crap later in life. I wasted time on them that could have much better been served by doing something productive like poking my eye out with a spoon.

8. I should have put that holier-than-thou Kristin in her place when I had a chance. Instead I let it go and pretended nothing happened. Eh, actually I am glad I didn't do that one. I would have wasted a lot of time on someone who wasn't worth it.

9. I should have let my parents chaperone more school functions. We had a great time together when I was a Senior but I wish they would have been around a bit more when I was younger.

10. I should have realized how much fun I was having at the time and taken more pictures. :)Who knew those would have been the good ol' days?!

I'm an -aholic...

I think that it is quite possible that I am every kind of -aholic you can think of. Dramtic? Maybe. But very true I tell ya!

Let me explain.

I am a shopaholic. I absolutely love to shop. Nothing makes me happier than walking out of a store with a brand new purchase. For example, I have been eating ramen noodles for the past few days because I *had* to have this bag.

I had a 20% off coupon so it would be almost illegal if I didn't buy it. Right? Well while I was there I felt bad not treating the other Vera Bradley color fairly, so I bought this bag.


Now, I don't know how you shop, but if I get a bag I feel it neccessary to buy the matching wallet. That led to a matching checkbook cover and wallet for these buys.

I literally skipped out of the store with my purchases!

I also shop every Friday at Ann Taylor Loft. I kid you not that there is a woman at the AT that knows me by name. I was on vacation last week and when I went in today she looked at me funny and asked why I wasn't in the Friday before. I wanted to cry. Am I that predictable? Am I keeping AT Loft afloat? Maybe they are getting ready to go bankrupt or fire this poor girl and I let her down. How could I let this poor girl down?! I figure I will go back tomorrow to make up for my missed Friday.

What normal person thinks like this? An -aholic I tell ya.


What other type of -aholic am I? I have the potential to be an alcoholic. I know this is a serious issue with some but follow me while I write this out before you get all pissy.

I have an addictive personality. I am willing to admit that. There is not a liquor I have met that I haven't enjoyed. Everything from Patron tequila to that cheap ass Pucker Apple crap. By far my faves are Amaretto and Rum, but I hate to leave any one liquor out. If anything, I believe I am a very fair person.


When I was in college I was Miss Party Girl. I know...its hard to imagine. *This is the part where everyone nods their head in agreement.* My friends knew that if they called me I either would have plans for them to go out or be ready to follow whatever plans they had. I was known to start the shots and often I was overly generous and sent them around to others. This is probably the reason I was broke every now and then in college. Screw those takers.

My bestfriend was distraught when she caught me drinking Bailey's for breakfast out of a shotglass. Its not that I was addicted at the time, but I had run out of milk and I figured this was the next best thing. Do you think that would work with my boss? huh.

I quickly realized that if I followed the lifestyle I was leading that I was going to end up being some drunk girl when I was in my 50s hanging out at all the college clubs trying to pick up the hottie frat boy and then end up passing out on the fraternity's front porch. Thanks, but no thanks.

I now limit myself to just drinking every now and then on the weekends with a few of my friends. I am still Miss Party Girl, but with a little less drinking. Plus, I found that when I don't drink as much I have a lot more money to spend on stupid purses.

Another -aholic? I'm a foodaholic. This *might* be the cause of my butt being the size of Scotland. We can never know though. :) There are few foods that I don't care for. Ok, well that isn't really true because I don't eat any meat products. That really does cut out a lot of foods, doesn't it? Well, you get the point. I could eat ice cream for every single meal of the day if I knew my pants would actually work over my hips the next day.

Some people are chocoholics...not I. I am a saltaholic. I love all things salty. Funny enough, I don't put salt on anything. Thanks to my parents for not giving me that habit. Phew. I don't need to be the fat girl that is also retaining water. Next thing you know I would look like Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka when she blows up like a blueberry. No need for that my friends.


Speaking of Willy Wonka, remind me to post about my famous breaking and entering incident last week. NOW that is a story that is worth repeating OVER and OVER. Just ask any of my friends. :)

Another -aholic? I'm a collectaholic. You don't think that is a real thing? Well then you need to stop by my house to check it out. Call first, I don't like surprise visits.

I collect many things! When I was little I collected music boxes. Not like the jewelry kind, but the ones that are a little more artistic. When my parents moved when I was in middle school they went into a box and that box still sits in my bathroom at my parents house. Hmpf. One day they will be displayed.

I collected Dreamsicles. You know those little fat cherubs? Yep. I did those too. My mom finally put a stop to that when our living room started to look like it was a shrine to those little suckers.

I collect bears. My dad does this to me. Every christmas I get a stuffed bear and this past year he almost forgot. I was devastated when I woke up to find that "Santa" had not brought me a bear. I didn't mention it because I didn't want to sound like a brat, but then I broke down. How could my dad forget?! I'm 25 for goodness sake! 25 years of bears! He looked surprised and then remembered that it was in their closet. He hid it...hid it so well he forgot. :)

I now collect Nightmare Before Christmas stuff. Weird I know, but I love that movie! I buy most of my stuff of ebay but I found that most of the items come from Hong Kong. Do you know how much it cost to ship from Hong Kong?! Way to much my friends. But due to my shopaholic ways I pay it. How could I possibly live without the fork,spoon, and chopstick set that I found for only $20! I have no idea and I will never know now that I am the proud owner of this particular item.


I obviously collect purses (I *heart* Vera) and shoes. I can't stop myself.

And last my not least, I collect paper. Reciepts, books, bills, etc. I just can't bring myself to throw crap away. Why?! When I get around to shredding things I end up keeping the shredded bits in the little shredder for weeks. Do I think that its suddenly going to Mary Poppins itself and come back together?! Normally this thing gets emptied because Korky knocks it over and bits of paper are all over the house. The roommate frowns on this. Yea, well I frown on her farting all over the house so deal with it woman.

So you see...I am a -aholic. I can not help it. I can not change it. I have learned to accept myself. I am an acceptaholic.

I am what I am.

I did it for my mom...

Well, I actually *didn't* do it for my mom.

What is it that I'm talking about? A tattoo.

Now I realize that many people have them and have no problems, but my mom is convinced that the minute I get one that I'm going to get hepatitis. She is a nurse and KNOWS this happens on a regular basis. So basically my answer to asking if I could do something was "Yes, but no tattoos."

"Mom, can I go to the movies?"
"Yes, but no tattoos."

"Mom, can I move in with my boyfriend even though I'm only 13?"
"Yes, but no tattoos"

"Mom, can we grow weed in the backyard?"
"Yes, but no tattoos."

Ok, well that is a little exaggeration, but you get the idea.

Now I am 25 and I started to think about getting one. I'm old enough to make decisions damnit! But everytime I get close to the tattoo shop my mother's voice pops in my head. Its a sickness I tell ya!

I have often said that I would get one when I got down to my goal weight. There was no way I was going to show my bare butt to some hairy man when there was a little to much to show. I was also not going to be the girl who got the Irish flag on her back only to realize later on in life that it was actually LIFE SIZE because my back was so big. Then what happens if I lose weight and have the tattoo. It would become like the covers on the back of MAD magazine. You know, the ones where you see one picture but when you fold the page it makes another picture. I was not going to risk that the shamrock that I desperately wanted on my right butt check would actually become a pair of boobies with a string hanging from them when I lost weight and my butt started to sag. No, no my friends. I will NOT be THAT girl.

I was also faced with the decision on where I would actually put the tattoo. On my ankle? Absolutely not. Have you seen my ankles? I have cankles. What are cankles you may ask? Well its where your calves just kind of melt into your ankle. There is no definition. You know you have seen it. Can you imagine the 30 dolphins it would take to swim around my ankle?! I think not. If there was plastic surgery to get rid of this ailment I might look into it.

Do I put it on my back? Absolutely not. I don't want to constantly be worry about pulling up my pants that hang a *tad* bit to low when I'm at work so they don't catch a glimpse of my thong riding dangerously close to my really original flower with vines around it tattoo.

I could put it on my sholder, but I can't see myself walking down the aisle when I get married with a big frog sitting on top of the world on my back. To each their own though.

So instead, I do nothing. I have no tattoos. I admire others body art, but have decided that I will do this one thing for my mother.

Plus, I couldn't decide between getting the heart that said PLAYA or Pimpin' Ain't Easy going over a cross. Decisions, Decisions.

Me A-Z...

I had my widsom teeth out today so there isn't much going on lately. I've been sitting here thinking and watching tv, so I decided this was the day to do the Me A-Z post. :)

A is for Age – 25
B is for Booze – Sangria, Zima (no comments for the peanut gallery),margaritas
C is for Career – Clinical Systems Specialist
D is for Dad’s name – James
E is for Essential items to bring to a party – The If Book
F is for Favorite songs at the moment - Sexi Plexi by Jack Johnson
G is for Goof off thing to do – Play computer games and PEA
H is for Hometown – My favorite place in Florida!
I is for Instrument you play – Clarinet and oboe
J is for Jam or Jelly you like – Grape. I'm pretty generic.
K is for Kids - Just one...Kork the Dork the cutest cocker spaniel ever!
L is for Living arrangement – House apartment with two roommates and two dogs
M is for Mom’s name – Maureen
N is for Names of best friends – Shawna and Ceb
O is for overnight hospital stays – None, but I have had surgeries. 1 knee, 2 mouth
P is for Phobias – Roaches. Ugh.
Q is for Quote you like – "I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again." Joan Rivers
R is for Relationship that lasted longest – I've known some friends for over 11 years.
S is for Siblings - None! Only child completely.
T is for Texas , Ever been? – Nope, but I would love to.
U is for Unique trait – I'm a pretty creative person!
V if for Vegetable you love – Cauliflower
W is for Worst traits – Attention Deficit
X - is for XRays you’ve had – Mouth, Knee, foot
Y is for Yummy food you make – Grits!
Z is for Zodiac sign – Aquarius!

You asked for it...

and your wish is granted!

I had a few people ask if I could get one of those handy dandy notify things on my site like the Perfect Cherry Moon has and I finally got around to it. :)

So sign up and be one of the first to know when I update the Knotty Spot!

Lucky kids if you ask me.

Numb lips...IN! Cotton Wads...OUT!

I managed to cry my way into an appointment with the oral surgeon. Can I just tell you that I should get an Oscar for my award winning acting?! I even amaze myself sometimes.

So I got to work this morning around 9:15am (hush! I was tired!) and had a meeting starting at 10. That went till 12 and then we had another meeting from 12-1. Well I had to leave at 1:15 to make it to my appointment. SCORE! I could work everyday like that!

I get to the appointment and everyone there is super nice. Probably because they know they are going to soon be ripping small things from your mouth and then charge you an ass load of money.

Well it seems the one of my wisdom teeth is right near a bunch of nerves that control all the feeling to my lip and tongue.
The surgeon says, "Some people experience numbness in their lip. But don't worry it normally doesn't last past a month. Rarely is it permanent."

Seriously?! Rarely permanent? I can not be walking around with my lip just dangling around and drooling all the time. I have enough issues as it is. I certainly don't need to add to them.

I did give him that, "Ha! Funny Dentist humor." But he wasn't laughing. Ugh...

Wisdom teeth my butt. If they were so wise they would know how to grow in correctly and I wouldn't have to pay some man over $600 (after insurance!) to rip my tooth out. Should I ask for it afterwards? Maybe I can sell it on the blackmarket.

Or ebay. You can sell anything on ebay.